Thursday, February 19, 2009

Sometimes

I could just jump right out of my skin because I get so antsy. My body should be dancing! I get so jealous of those stupid photo shoots. Really, I do. But by his grace, for some reason, the only dancing I do is silly and with my son, and my photo shoots are of new teeth and crazy hair. Isn't that actually better? I should be more thankful!

I could drive myself crazy wondering what she would have been like.

I get so afraid that my son won't know the Truth.

I question all the injustice. The wicked seem to prosper! The righteous are wrongfully imprisoned!

I wonder why I have a brain that is healthy- a sound mind that can care for itself and its body while others are trapped in these shells- and for what?

I cringe and can't escape the thought of children being used- of babies being wasted.

If I didn't believe God, I'd be extremely bitter and such an ugly person. As it is, he has given me eyes to see; and even when life doesn't make any sense at all, even when it is hard for me and worse for others, I can trust that there is a plan. What a gracious God we have. I'm an ugly person saved from bitterness who will be beautiful in the end. Amazingly, actually, we don't even have to wait until the end- that's when things will be whole, completely right- but we are, even here, blessed with glimpses of our own metamorphoses. How I love to hear what he does for my brothers and sisters! I want to be quicker to give him glory where glory is due - and unashamedly so. Well... the blog is definitely out there...

Oh, to love others as I have been loved!

(Emo post of the month!)

3 comments:

Brenna said...

yeah for emo posts...keep them coming!

Anonymous said...

Very Emo.I totally understand.You're beautiful already, by the way!

Anonymous said...

Something I try to tell myself when I feel this way--which is often--
"Take heart, for I have overcome the world."
It's easy to think of that as a trite saying that we sing in a song, but if you really think about it, and let it sink in, it's astounding.