Thursday, June 23, 2011

Not quite sure what to call this...

When I was a teenager, I always wore a lot of make up and thought a lot about what I was wearing even if it was just going to be the outfit I wore over my leotard for the drive to my ballet classes or rehearsals (which was always). Now, anyone who knew me then (probably just my immediate family at this point in terms of this blog's readership) may be feeling like reminding me that I was also weird... and wore weird stuff... like turquoise mascara with silver eyeliner... and rolled up all my jeans (which wasn't cool yet)... and clear plastic with silver glitter platforms... and as much hippie jewelry as I could get away with. But anyway...

What was I saying?

Oh yeah, in Texas ladies wear make up, and we mostly like it, and no one thinks it's weird. Around here, girls who wear make up (like, more than just clear mascara and tinted moisturizer) I think are usually labeled as one of the following: sorority girl, from Bellevue, from California, from Texas, or slutty. Maybe that's not fair, but come on... it's pretty true. When I first arrived here to dance at PNB, I got to keep up my Texan appearances. They wanted us to wear make up even though we were doing intense exercise all day. In fact, they'd comment when we all got tired and would often remind us that it mattered how we looked and maybe we needed to just wear a little more make up or put on some earrings. I never had trouble with that because, though I mostly HATE shopping, I do love shopping for lipstick and earrings and never felt fully dressed without both.

When I stopped dancing and started dating a short, somewhat grunge-styled boy (who I married), I did relax a little on my appearance. I definitely stopped wearing heels because of Brendan (and, yes, I miss it, but I feel like Bambi when I try to wear them now...), but the rest of my wardrobe became un-Texan just like I always wanted. I always had been kind of weird before, but it definitely increased. I swayed too far in the Seattle direction, though.

At this point, when I feel like I'm not interested in fitting any stylistic modes, I'm kind of sad because I've been dressing sort of bland for so long that whenever I wear something I really like, I feel really garish. Flashy people are ok, but when normal girl dresses flashy, everyone's thinking... umm... she needs a helper. I often say that I can't wait until I'm an old lady and have, I HOPE, truly gotten over giving a fig about what anyone thinks of my appearance and just will wear my costume jewelry, flashy clothing (I own a lot of sequins, people), pins, big earrings, big hair, sparkle lipgloss, and get back into my turquoise mascara and silver eyeliner. Then I can go back to Texas on vacation, and they can all wonder how that nice ballerina turned into such a weird, freaky, voodoo medicine (that means naturopathy) midwife... but maybe they'll want to know where I got my lipgloss and my hairspray.

This post is coming from the fact that the other day I got my new Mary Kay catalog in the mail from my Mary Kay man in Texas (see, things a lot of you didn't know about me). I've been feeling so hideous and drab since that miserable first trimester, and I often feel frustrated that I'm the only girl in my house (I grew up with a sister, and of course had tons of little ballerina sisters). So, I got out all my make up and potions, sat down with that catalog, and proceeded to do up my face like I used to when I was 17. It was SO fun. I even got out eye make up remover and did my eyes over again because I didn't like my eyeshadow combination the first time around. I also put on long earrings and picked a For Real outfit. I ALMOST wore platforms, but we had to go to a 3 year old party in a park on a chilly day; so, the shoes seemed a bit much. You know what? I FELT GREAT! I felt like I didn't look like death (or anemia at least) warmed over. I felt like I got to do an art project. I felt like I looked lovely.

I wondered why I don't just let Seattle think what they will; after all, I AM from Texas and I get flack for it all the time anyway even though I'm one of the most un-Texie Texans I've ever known ('cept for the Christian part!). I realize that my friends wear make up too, but I think it's pretty safe to say that very few of them have teal and sparkle-purple eyeshadows or ruby red lipgloss. It's happening people. I'm going to start being weird again. I'm just going to wear my hot pink shrugs and my green sparkle eyeliner.

Someone once passed on this fashion tip: When you're all done getting ready, quickly turn around to the mirror. Whatever your eye goes to first, take off.

Ummm... no thanks. I like that rhinestone costume jewelry pin... and the faux patent leather, school bus yellow flats... and the sequin tank top... and my maternity jeans... and my electric coral nail polish... and...

Well, maybe for starters I can just start wearing one flashy thing at a time. And just because I like it so much, I do want to start wearing make up again- like, more than just mascara and tinted moisturizer. You know, if I can manage to get myself and my two children clothed, shoed, fed, pottied, and on time... huh, maybe I'll just have a Make-up Day each month...

If I can get to it, what I really want to do is the pretty product review post I have in my head. But, I always wind up doing these weird public journal entries instead!!!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I like your new backyard background. That post cracked me up--all so true. Whenever the weird, flashy Jessica shows through, it gives me warm fuzzies--reminds me of that curly little girl who held the world by the tail and boldly corrected old ladies in public. The dull, Seattle grunge style will never fit you. As for the Texan comments, those people just need some sunlight. Anything bright assaults their optic nerves.

Keren said...

I want a picture! =)
Jess, I love this post. We really to need to hold onto the part of us that is woman, not "spit-up upon, p b and jelly maker mom" Sometimes makeup and taking a little time on our appearance is just the way to do that. I know it can make a HUGE difference in how I feel about the day!