How's that for a catchy title? I'm still feeling really tired lately because each day that I decide, "today, I'm just going to be lazy and recover from the weekend," I actually wind up doing a lot of work. I can't fully relax if I've got a bunch of projects hanging over my head. So, I'm trying to do rest all morning, work all afternoon. All that is to explain why you're getting lots of little posts this week :) I like to wake up and then check out my cyber life... (which is way less cool than most peoples').
So yesterday, after working on house cleaning and doing my big clean-out-under-the-bed job, I had to go to U.Village to have AT&T fix the voicemail on my new phone. I felt like walking around, so I decided to check out cribs at Land of Nod and Pottery Barn. Let's just say that they cost 500-1000% more than the ones I saw at Ikea. No kidding. Of course, they're WAY cooler. Somehow, I also wound up at Anthropologie to look around :), and that was the site of my awkward experience.
As you can see in the belly pics from a few days ago, my little pooch is looking more like pregnancy and less like too much beer or a heavy meal. However, I'm still slightly self-conscious about it, and I wish I could wear a sign that says, "I am pregnant. I am supposed to be letting it hang out like this." Of course, I hate (for me. Rib, I like yours) shirts with quippy sayings, so that wouldn't work anyway. The clothes I had on yesterday were a little schleppy, so they didn't help me out at all in emphasizing the fact that my gut is growing a human. You know we probably all think it... "I don't look cool enough to shop in this store right now." I know it's silly, vain, and actually sort of sinful. But, that's how I was feeling yesterday. Of course, they had some pretty decent sale stuff on the clearance racks, so I decided to see if they had anything cute that I could pass off as maternity clothing. I've been increasingly frustrated with the frumpiness of most cheap maternity clothes. If I could buy everything at Bump, that would be cool. But, I can't. So, I gathered a little pile of not too expensive things to try on.
I'm already intimidated at the Anthropologie dressing room because I always imagine that they're thinking... oh, she can only buy sale stuff. WHY DO WE CARE? But, you know you've thought it too! So, walking in the super-cutely dressed sales woman says, "Want to try those on?" "Yes, please," I say. "I need to see if I can pass anything off as maternity." Ok, now I'm not joking here: she looked down at my belly, and this look of "Oh, you're pregnant???" came across her face, in a weird way... not in a oh-isn't-that-cute way. But, she also saw a chance to make some money, and she said, "ooh, well there are some new things in the front that could maybe work." Well, I knew I was doomed. I usually don't even look at things in the front because it's like $60+ for a t-shirt, and I just can't justify spending that kind of money on clothing. Maybe occasionally, for special circumstances. For example, after my miscarriage, I went to Urban Outfitters, one of my favorite stores, and I paid full price for a cardigan, and it felt great. At that time, anything (no matter how silly) that could make me feel distracted or happy was greatly appreciated.
This very helpful girl was on the walkie-talkie every 30 seconds, "So-and-so, can you get me one of those blah-blah-blah tops from the blah-blah-blah section." They were ALL for me. She had like 12 things brought back for me! Most of them were cute, but some of them were ugly. I tried them all on. I felt like I had to, and I kept playing along! Of course, the cutest shirt ever was $98, and then I wanted it. This is why I don't even look at that stuff. I try to avoid places that could cause me to sin! I then started trying to decide how in the world I was going to get out of there. I chose to carry two cute things with me along with the sale shirt that I picked out and the cute $15 bra (they have lots! you should go get one!). Sales girl was nice and excited that she had found some things that would work for me. Then, I wandered around the store trying desperately to find where the two extra things had come from. I couldn't find their homes! So, I waited until no one who had previously helped me was in sight, and I practically charged the check out counter. "I think I'm just going to go with these for now," I breathlessly choked out as I laid my sale stuff on the counter.
And so, I made it out with only the sale stuff :). Moral of the story: don't be so weird, Jesky Bera! Who cares if some girl at Anthropologie thinks you have a beer gut? And, next time, say, "Ya know, I'm sort of just in to quickly comb the sales rack, but if I ever decide to spend some more, I'll find you."
Brendan laughed and said, "Oh, Jesky" a lot when I told him the story :)
2 comments:
LOVE the story. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has those silly (yet distressing!) thoughts. :)
I always seem to find some outrageously expensive but absolutely adorable article of clothing that I feel I simply must have whenever I walk into Anthropologie (which thankfully is not very often).
for the record, no one - especially in the u-district - would mistake young master spud for a beer gut! however, while your cute belly is obviously pregers, the rest of you is not. you lack the telltale slouch n' waddle. in fact, you have freakishly correct posture for a woman shopping for cribs and maternity clothes. pair that with a few anthropologie shirts draped over your arm and held in front of spud, and i completely understand poor sales girl's surprise.
also for the record, you are not alone in your frustration with the saggy frumpiness of maternity clothes. with elasaid, i was !thisclose! to taking up sewing.
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