Long time...

no write! Sorry 'bout that. Last week was wild and crazy.

Ezzie is doing fine now, but we had quite the scare as he had lost almost a pound when we checked him at his 4 month well-baby appt. He was 11lbs 3oz at 2 months, and he only weighed 10lbs 9oz at the 4 month. Long story, short: I don't make enough milk anymore; we're trying to figure out why. Ezra is now supplemented with formula (soy b/c we discovered that he's allergic to the cow kind) and has gained a TON of weight in a very short time. I'm pretty sure that he weighs over 12lbs now. He's the happiest baby EVER now that he's not "starving." And, yes, that is the word that was used. In fact, even Ezzie's little liver was functioning so poorly that he looked like a hepatitis patient (on paper) because his body had begun breaking down its own muscle for food. Ez will have an ultrasound and more blood work on Friday to make certain that nothing else is going on with his liver.

Meanwhile, I've been struck with God's mysterious goodness and have been thankful for the resiliency of babies! I have a lot of good pictures, and I think I can even use them to show his progressive, aggressive weight gain over the last week. I'll try to get some up tonight when Rib is home to watch Ez.

Ruminations

So, this is hard for me to share because I DO NOT consider myself to be an artist. Well, I was an artist, but I can't really dance anymore. So, I have to paint! I wanted to post this, though, because it has been a really great experience, and I am glad with what turned out.




Here is a project that I've been doing to have some adult time. It's the final artistic processing of the last year and a half: miscarriage, trying, new pregnancy, worries, trimesters, birth, and Ezra.

I'm submitting the painting for our next Thread Art Night at CrossPoint Green Lake on December 6th at 7pm. I hope that those of you in the area will come! It should be a really wonderful night of community art of all sorts. Those of you who enjoy The Round, art walks, and such will have a great time at this event. The theme: Anticipation.



The piece is titled Ruminations and attempts to capture the whirlwind of my thoughts and feelings during the time when I was just pregnant with Ezra and didn't know quite yet. That phase reminds me of the "already not yet" nature of our status in Christ. I knew that things would be alright in the end, but I didn't know the great gift (Ez in the belly!) that was already in place, just like we live in a very real reality of God's kingdom already on the earth. It's clouded and hidden from us by the fog and smear of sin. But, we carry in us a great joy in the Holy Spirit, just as I was already carrying the great future joy of Ezra's life in my body.

Those few months between Speck and Spud were the most formative of my spiritual life to date. I did ruminate constantly. My thoughts were always churning but not without great hope. The yellow swoop in the upper right is meant to be Heaven coming down to snatch up that little Speck because, as I like to think, God wanted her for himself in Heaven right away. Everything is his, so I'm glad my little baby is there with Him. I still think about her all the time. And, yeah, I call her her. Because I can, that's why. I love Ezra a smidge more than I would have if she hadn't come along first.

For those of you who won't get to see it up close. Below shows what the writing reads. Most of it is from a scrap of paper on which I jotted down some sad and frustrated thoughts back before Spud came to his watery home. I threw it away, but Brendan rescued it from the garbage. I'm glad he did. It's good to remember how you've felt and what God has led you through.

With all the good gifts I have,
I can't stop thinking about the one that is lost.
I want to be whole
but that would require a uterus that sticks and ovaries that work.
How can I stop thinking about the pieces of my first fruit left all over the city?
Hope. Fear. Wait.

The earth is the Lord's and everything in it.

I will always love you.

A great gift from the greatest Giver. Your mother tried to pray like Hannah. I have seen Him.

BONUS! Picture of my happy, skinny baby :)

A Day in the Life of Ezzyraybera

GOOD MORNING :)
First thing's first: tummy time

In the afternoon, mommy takes me to the park or somewhere else fun, if it's not too rainy.
Like mom, I find the swing to be a quite natural location for me.

We enjoy the sun whenever it's around!

I'm really used to the sling now. I almost never whine about it anymore :)
In the evening, DADDY'S HOME! I like to chew on him
"Oh, Dad, you look delicious..."

Love that Daddy

When Mom and Dad eat big people food, I'm fascinated and jealous!
"Can I have some, please?"


Around 7, it's time to get ready for bed. Here I am all snuggly after my bath.
Last thing I do (well, besides eating) is read some books! I can turn the pages by myself now!
Goodnight!

Note from Mommy:
Yes, I know it's dorky to write from your child's perspective... but I just can't help it!

Ezra's Post

77kgm..7kkjkih 7ynnmmmmmmmmmmmmmmml,kusfftfdtfrrt6gtc hc99 be ccy8 djnhn7hjvdkl,mftttttttfgr7 inh y7u yb 00 on

All of the above was typed by Ezra in about 2 minutes. I just keep him from doing anything weird to the computer. Hopefully, each of you will see a loving, personal message from Ez in what he wrote :)

Beth's Birthday

Happy Birthday, Beth! Here are a few random silly memories...






Beth is my best friend, and I wish I was in Malawi to dance to the birthday song and have a rum and coke with her today. We lived together for the year (and some) before we were each married. Beth is the friend who is most like a sister. We can fight; we can disagree; we can understand each other's thoughts, even when they aren't spoken. I MISS HER!!!

Hopefully, Beth, you'll have a fabulous day there at ABC and will enjoy your first birthday with your son! So far, I can highly recommend being 25; it's a good age. You always say that you appreciate me because I'm honest and give it to you straight. Well, I'm pretty sure I learned a lot of that from you! I just love your whole ding, dang personality, and I can't wait for y'all to get back here.

Haircut!

Can't tell too well from the pics, but it's long in the front, short in the back... a reverse mullet, I'd say ;)

Fall Photo Shoot

My friend Piper Moore graciously offered to take some photos of Ezra to boost up her sample work for her blossoming photography business. She is great! She was so great at capturing Ezra's fleeting smiles, and she definitely wasn't scary like some photographers are to kids!

But first...
A blast from the past! Piper also did my wedding photography. August 20, 2005







Now here's Ez!










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I remember sleep

Well, it seems to be all the rage these days: babies up in the middle of the night! Brendan and I just had 3 really miserable nights. Ezra has been back to waking up every hour and staying awake between about 3 and 6! Like my dear friend I finally got super frustrated with him last night. Of course, after about 30 seconds of whisper yelling "go to sleep!" I dissolve into feeling bad about being angry with him. It's just so hard. I love him so much, and I don't want him to hurt or be sad. We actually wound up having a pretty cute time together from 5-6 as he sleepily smiled at me from his blanket on the floor, so that was encouraging. Now, though, it's the morning, and I'm running on a third straight night of about 4 (non-consecutive) hours of sleep.

I think it's his teeth, and I think he's hitting some new developmental milestones which also interrupt sleep. He may be going through the 4 month sleep regression a bit early or just growing again. He's still so tall and thin!

New Title

Oh yeah! I forgot to explain (thanks, Sarah!). "Blark" is baby spit up in Ribera vernacular. Given that blark is a large part of my life, I changed the blog title to reflect the nature of the current news and musings. And, it's funny because it sounds like Spark Notes... get it? get it?

That last explanation is for my husband who always finds it necessary to explain his every joke and comment to me just in case the reason for my lack of laughter is a lack of understanding... it's usually not ;)

A Photo Smorgasborg!

I have been excited about posting all of these!

BATH TIME

Even in the tub, Ezra can't resist sucking his toes!




Ezzie and I go on lots of little walks in the neighborhood. I need to get an umbrella; today we almost were seriously caught in the rain. I let Ez get sprinkled - he is a Seattle kid, after all! However, I don't want him getting soaked; that'd be downright negligent ;)

Waking Daddy up on Sunday morning. (Sweater vest courtesy of Auntie Nurse Brenna!)
Umm... Just something adorable. We were laughing so hard. It was as though Ezra knew that he looked silly with that shirt on his head, so he was being such a ham!


Watching TV with Chuckanucka. And, NO, I don't need your comments about the fact that he's already watching TV... unless their non-judgmental :) He doesn't watch too much; don't worry!
Trying to consume his entire hand; this teething thing has him practically rabid for fingers and toes.

For Halloween... oh, sorry... Reformation Day, we wore clever, but slacker, "costumes." We were 3 of the 5 "solas," tenets of Martin Luther's theology. Kristen and Daniel were the other two (in our imaginations) at the Reformation Day party our parish group had. Next year, when Ezra is a little bit more able to enjoy getting dressed up and seeing other kids, we are doing Halloween and trick-or-treating at U.Village! I don't like Christianized versions of Halloween celebrations, but that soap box speech is for another post...
(This picture is so funny because it looks like my arm is somehow coming out of Brendan!)


ready for another outing

this is one of Ezra's favorite new toys. he plays with it when he sits in the kitchen with me to watch me cook.

all bundled up and being sweet after a bath

Hope you enjoyed these!

I'm working on my getting my birth story all down on paper, so that will be a post soon!